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Perhaps I will not forget the night that my insides were twisting at the thought of women going through human trafficking. More than what they were experiencing, I was troubled by the thought that God made a world in which this was even possible.

I felt like I was in a garbage compressor, like my soul was about to be flattened under the weight of this struggle. “If God would allow this, what can I trust Him for? Is He trustworthy at all? Am I stuck in some nightmare world?”

I cried out to God for help. Then something happened. I began to see a subtle accusation of another kind that had slipped in. This accusation was against me:

“How dare you accuse God? Now you’ve offended Him. Watch as your life falls apart from here on out.”

Then the Holy Spirit began to inspire my understanding:

“You feel like you need answers to hard questions right now, but more than that, you need to draw near to God. The blood poured out by Christ heals your heart of this offense against God, and you must draw near to be healed of it.”

I began to realize something: my accusation against God was being compounded by the accusation I was receiving against myself. I felt shame that made me want to run from God. A scheme of the enemy was at work. But God was saying, “Even with your offense, come to Me, and I will heal you.”

I opened my heart to Him and the garbage compresser began to open up. Almost immediately my heart came to rest. More than answers, I needed to know I could draw near to God to help me. The healing my heart needed did not come by an argument that proved God’s goodness despite all. It came by the knoweldge that the Son of God came to heal mankind of all that keeps humanity from being reconciled to His Father, which includes our deep offense against Him.

Yes, the grace of God does come to teach us, but before we are teachable, the stony places of our hearts must become flesh. This is the work of the blood of Christ: making a new, moldable man.