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Sitting on a mustard yellow couch in store as my girlfriend and her mom, whose birthday’s today, shop.

I am relaxing but I want big thoughts, stretching thoughts. Such thoughts don’t greatly change me in the moment, but they do contribute to a great breakthrough down the road in which I will see Christ’s glory in a way I have not yet—

Endless Fountain endlessly flowing, only You enrapture our passions as we desire. Unlike the things You’ve made, beauty which knows no beginning shines from You. You pleasantly lift my head. Nothing You’ve made makes me shake with a delightful tremble like You do. No woman. No man. No food. No talent of mine or another. These things were made but You are not. Before I knew You I tried to extract sap from dying trees. “Give me more!” But it would not come. Experience was a blazing star already falling a moment after it carried my desire with it to such height. There was no promise again of flight. My desire to go higher increased but I could not find a star that promised to take me where I wanted to go. I tore myself with longing. I scratched the bark and until my fingers bled. But no sap. Drinking, music, sights, interesting people and places all continually drying my tongue. My tolerance for their pleasures increased so that my ever widening capacity grew emptier and lost.

But You, Jesus Christ, I saw You—the Tree whose sap endlessly flows. You make everything enjoyable and make everything seem as though it’s not there at all in comparison to the beauty shining from You.

This is my joy and I wish that others would join me. Your blood set me free from hating You and hating myself for not choosing You.